Winter is an odd cross to bear.
- Yesterday at a busy deli downtown, the cashier gave me my change and handed me an extra 75 cents by accident. He had closed the register drawer by then, so he just shrugged and said “close enough”.
- Last week I was getting a newspaper from a box by a bus stop. A woman in front of me slipped in her coins, took her paper, then turned to me with the news box door ajar and said “Go ahead. Take one”. Everyone knows when you put in your change you can take as many papers as you want, but nobody does, right?
- It occurred to me the other night at about 3 a.m. that Hershey Kisses are just glorified chocolate chips. Therefore, if you’ve ever felt the intense guilt of sneaking handfuls of tasty semi-sweets from the pantry, get over it.
- Why was I thinking about this at 3AM? I had taken sinus cold medication that I didn’t realize had expired (in 1999) and had just woken up from the most stupid but oddly horrifying nightmare. Flying raisins and marshmallows were attacking me. (I’m thinking of selling my antihistamine stash to the Rave crowd).
In closing, even if these signs mean little to you, please accept the following essential tips to help you get through winter:
- It’s a lot more fun having guests over when you have thrown out the map from the chocolates box.
- Always buy brand name cling wrap.
- Don’t panic and call the manufacturer! The baby monitor works best when it’s plugged in.
- And, no matter how many resolutions you make, just when you think you’re getting ahead, you will need another haircut.
See you in the Spring!
