Random February Blather

To deal with the threat of avian flu, China is cracking down on the transport of chickens. The government in Beijing is modeling a public awareness campaign after successful US advertising. Billboards ask: “Got Bird?”

Meanwhile, in Ottawa, I awoke at 3AM last night convinced that a squirrel was chewing its way into my bedroom. Suzy’s yell woke me from my state, and I found myself across the room banging on the wall.

A report in the national press this week suggested that Ottawa Jewish sites were targetted for terrorist acts in 1999. One of the alleged targets, a large synagogue, is around the corner from my house. The press speculated about whether or not the Canadian government knew about the threat. My guess is no. When asked about it in a scrum on Parliament Hill, former Deputy PM John Manley looked shocked. His house is also around the corner from the synagogue.

It’s funny how my neighbour who washes his driveway in summer is the same one who leaves his christmas lights on all night in February. Maybe the place is a terrorist cell with bad briefing notes.

Recently I’m interested in collecting anecdotal information on accidents related to remote car starters, automatic garage doors, and dish washers. If you have a story, please share.

If someone knows of a cheap feline euthanasia clinic, please call.

Question: If you find the abandoned moulted shell of the larval stage of an unidentified bug in your bulk bag of pistachios, do you throw out the whole bag?

Free advice: Don’t strike a wooden match towards your chest. Discard the map from the leftover Christmas chocolates, and watch the guests squirm.

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