Calling the Kettle Black

(Or; What Not To Do When Home With Three Small Children)

  • Take electric stainless steel kettle (recently purchased for ludicrous amount of money).

  • Place on gas element. Turn on the fire and leave the room.

  • Return to find kettle aflame (very aflame) — very smelly burning rubber, black smoke. Enlist two walking small children to open all doors and windows (whilst remaining ever so calm) in an attempt to not have fog horn smoke detector/alarm system go off and subsequently wake up one non-walking child and summon 20 firefighters.

  • Try to blow out spectacular kettle fire while making wish (Think: Should I bother with baking soda? Wonder: Where did Stuart hide the fire extinguisher?) Take kettle out to back step, whilst smearing black burnt rubber all over newly refurbished kitchen.

  • After little while, notice that kettle on back step is still aflame, threatening load of junk on the back step. Blow out fire, put kettle into terracotta planter filled with water. Attempt to get toxic smell out of house.

  • Restart attempt to make chicken noodle soup, the cause of all this fuss. The fire alarm never went off (even though it often does when making toast), thank goodness…

(Posted by Suzy, who escaped burn free but frazzled).

New Simon Photos.

Free Almalki. Liberate the Truth.

Syria has finally acquitted Canadian Abdullah Almalki of charges of terrorism, but now he is being told he has to complete his mandatory Syrian military service. All this after spending two years in a Syrian jail, where he was allegedly tortured. Military service in Syria is no picnic. It will probably kill him.

Meanwhile, back in Ottawa, Mr Almalki would make one heck of a good witness at the Arrar Inquiry, the investigation into the wrongful deportation and torture of another Syrian Canadian. Is the government afraid that Mr. Almalki would shed an embarrassing light on its role in the torture of Canadian citizens?

Why not call Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew to ask. (613) 995-8872. His office staff are very polite. You can also send an e-mail. (

To find contacts for any MP, click here. Make ’em work for it.

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