Spare Parts

Warrior Barb recommends a special pillow for whiplash. Designed by NASA. Price: $190. My dentist talked me into buying a polymer dental device to stop me from grinding my teeth into little stumps. Price: $350. Dr. Weiss performs 40 vascectomies a week in his basement off Echo Drive in the shi-shi-la-laa Glebe. It was covered by OHIP, but the special “kit” including razor, jock strap and prescription for a single Valium pill was $60. This morning I mistook Puddy for a shirt at the foot of my bed. Lasik eye surgery: $3500.

Aging is expensive. I’m saving now for my walker. Maybe the kids will kick in for that, or we can sell the cottage.

Speaking of old…
Barb said she saw Tina Turner on The View last night (you know, that show where Barbara Walters pretends to be hip while eating muffins). I caught myself saying something like, “Oh, thank God. I was worried about her!”

Tina has taken a few years off to “read” in Switzerland. Now 65, she’s “madly in love” with her 49-year old hubby. But what most people are talking about lately is not her music, but how she looks. I was relieved to hear that Tina’s still got those great legs.

There’s hope for the rest of us.

“I will never give in to old age until I become old. And I’m not old yet!” – Tina Turner

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