The latest

A client apologized today. This is almost unheard of. She said she was sorry for being “prickly.” She should have said thorny. Her name is Rose.

A fellow writer told me yesterday that my idea for a story about aggressive wild turkeys just revealed me as a “city slicker.” “Stuart, folks in the country are used to wild turkeys.” Really? I’d say my ignorance is more a result of my origins than my slickness. In PEI, we only had to worry about aggressive skunks. Once when I was about 10 my mother accidentally let one into the house and then screamed when she saw it. The skunk was not amused, and we slept with swimming noseplugs on that night. The next day the principal of my elementary school sent me home because I smelled so bad. How embarassing!

Did you know that skunks do handstands as they get ready to spray? If you see a skunk bouncing with its hind legs in the air, take my advice: Refrain from screaming and get the hell out of the house.

Another story idea that popped up yesterday: Did you know that federal government employees can’t bring plants to work? If they do pick up some posies at Loblaws, they are removed at night. In order to add some green to the cubicle, a federal public servant has to make an application through Public Works, and select from an approved list of species, then wait up to six months for the OK. And (!), getting a plant costs something like $150. The restriction on plants coincides with a reported epidemic of “sick building syndrome” in the capital. Apparently, the air in these buildings is really bad. Go figure.

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