No, not Ratzinger. Bigfoot. Buried in coverage of an old man in an old church is a snip about an old story. The Ottawa Citizen reported today that new footage exists of the elusive Sasquatch. The video was shot by a young man who was walking along the Winnipeg River in Manitoba. Yikes! Bigfoot’s getting closer! I thought it (he or she?) was somewhere in B.C. or Utah.
Sasquatch is a first-nations word that means something like “hairy man of the woods.” Which makes me wonder if the video confirms the existence of a new species or just an early spring. There’s a lot of back hair out there raking leaves this week. It ain’t pretty. I sugar. The whole family gets involved to rip off the strips.
Back to Bigfoot… Do you remember Bionic Woman episodes in the ’70’s where Jamie and Steve (tragic that that marriage failed) had to fight the Sasquatch!? Those shows had a profound effect on me and my cousins; we were sure Bigfoot lived in the back garage near our scrap-lumber fort. Our excitement was mitigated somewhat by the nagging certainty that if the hairy dude did show up, our slow-mo bionic running wouldn’t get us away fast enough. And I just can’t jump like Jamie. Looking at these fight clips now brings it all back, but really — the Bigfoot is only as tall as Jamie! Give me a break!
Visit the Winnipeg River Sasquatch Association for daily updates. It’s a Bigfoot-friendly site: They state right up front that they “don’t support the killing of the Sasquatch for scientific research”
Hey, wait a minute, does that mean that there’s more than one Sasquatch??!