It can happen without warning, like on a Thursday morning on the way to work. The only sign is a slight tightness in the leg, then sudden release. It happened to me this week, twice. CHF — Catastrophic Hem Failure. Two pairs of pants let me down on successive days. The tailor on the ground floor of my office building’s got it coming.

If this happens to you — actually, not if but when — there’s a quick solution: Staple along the seam. Turn the stapler so the claw side of the staple faces out, and click along the seam of the pant leg. Then lift a dry erase marker from the boardroom and touch up the staple so there’s no glare. Presto. You’ve saved $10 and embarrassment.

For me, two CHFs can mean only one thing: It’s long past time I traded in the dress pants for jeans and rubber boots. Luckily, Jasper and I are at Walden Cabin tonight. We’re going to spend the next week between here and our other Prince Edward Island place, Plover Dunes. Tomorrow we rebuild the bridge over the spring and dig in the garden. The MacPhee kids from the farm across the road have new kittens to maul in the barn. We have to put a coat of Barn Red on the bath house door. There are no hems here. My only “must do” item for tomorrow is to sink into the claw foot tub for an hour or so, and parade naked outdoors for a while, getting reacquainted with my trees. This is Jasper’s third annual spring trip here in his five years. The first thing he did when we pulled up in the car tonight is hop out onto the lawn and have a pee. That’s my boy! Formality be damned, at least for a few days.

Watch for pics here, starting Monday.

You Might Also Like