Getting to know stuart. volume 42c

Go ahead. Ask me about my fantasies. One involves a bottle of Crisco and a shower curtain liner. Suzy says, “Do you know what that stuff is? Lard!”

The first day of my first job as a pack boy at 14 at my community grocery/hardware store in rural PEI (cash register with the pull handle, gossiper meat man, etc.) I accidentally dropped a 24 case of glass Crisco bottles down the basement stairs and was sure I’d be fired; the floor’s still stained there.

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