Go ahead. Ask me about my fantasies. One involves a bottle of Crisco and a shower curtain liner. Suzy says, “Do you know what that stuff is? Lard!”
The first day of my first job as a pack boy at 14 at my community grocery/hardware store in rural PEI (cash register with the pull handle, gossiper meat man, etc.) I accidentally dropped a 24 case of glass Crisco bottles down the basement stairs and was sure I’d be fired; the floor’s still stained there.