I went to Futureshop tonight to buy a webcam for the Boler. Funny, last time I wrote here I didn’t know what a Boler was.
And then I came home and had a teary meltdown with Suzy when I remembered it was five years ago today that Dad died.
I tried to distract myself by looking for a memorial notice in the crappy PEI Guardian. They don’t publish memorial notices on-line. So I Googled Dad. No hits. Five years is all it takes to vanish on-line, if ever you were even there. Heck, his name would have appeared lots of times from my self-indulgent ramblings about our complex relationship. They’re gone too.
I don’t know what I’m doing writing this. I suppose it’s safe to weep on the web when nobody’s watching, and since I haven’t published here in 2 months, if you’re reading this it probably means you’re new or loyal. Be kind. I’m just getting going again after a rough summer.
It’s been a stressful few weeks leading up to the Porchlight launch, and my life is pretty damn awesome. In fact, everything I’ve hoped for has come true. But it’s quiet tonight. And I’m not used to that, or ready to face death, or liking seeing myself getting older, or admitting how much I miss him.