Summer is over. But it’s still hot. Or, in many places hot for the first time this season. But don’t be fooled: The reason you can’t see the bandaids on the bottom of the condo pool is because the sun set two hours earlier than it did in June. Enjoy.
Some observations at the end of Summer ’18:
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- It’s next to impossible to pick up google-eyes from the hardwood floor. It used to be because the toddler was impatiently demanding help. Now it’s your eyesight.
- Cottage shelving units marked with E-Z on the assembly instructions, almost never are and are designed for Americans. Feel stupid, for two reasons. It’s E-Zed, man.
- If you’re impatient for the heat to be over so you can wear that new sweater, put it in your calendar to call me in February so I can kick your dumb ass.
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- Tim’s has saved us from sexism over coffee by renaming their cookie the Gingerbread Figure. It’s still bad for yours.
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- A close call in the lumberyard has me wondering why electric wheel chairs are designed to go faster than a human can run. Payback?
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- Spend the extra $20 and get a hammock that swings.
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- Fondant icing does just that at 35C. And, no, you can’t ice a crack shut in a cake. You should have waited for it to cool.
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- Never publicly comment on a plumber’s plumbing without asking his wife first.
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- Your neighbours were right: The extra grass seed only made things worse.
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- Just over three months to Christmas!
Send your September observations