Nominate a song, and receive a CD compilation of “80s Songs I Never Want to Hear Again” Suzy’s best friend Linda is hosting a ’80s theme graduation party this weekend for the Public Relations class of Algonquin College. She’s taking suggestions for the “do not play” ’80s songs. I hereby nominate “Electric Avenue” by Eddie Grant. This morning I had “Black Stations, White Stations” in my head, but I kinda like that song. Got a suggestion? Leave a comment below!

Does anyone hitch hike anymore? Yesterday I was late coming home from work and ended up taking a bus that leaves me about 3 km from my house. As I was running down Kilborn (trying to get home so Suzy could get to aerobics), it occurred to me to turn toward the traffic and stick out my thumb. I was immediately swept back to 1987 on the French Riveria. My cousin’s cousin Tyler Aspin was passing through Nice on a solo backpacking trek through Europe. I was studying in Villefranche, a small town between Nice and Monaco. After hanging out for a few days, Tyler suggested we ditch the Riveria…

Dr. Weiss doesn’t waste time. He slipped an elastic around the head and stretched it up to a shirt button. A second later — Pop! went the anesthetic needle. O U C H After that I stared straight up, sucked into the soft moss of the rainforest poster on the ceiling. “What do most guys usually say at this point, Doctor?” “Nobody wants to make a home video, if that’s what you mean.” I distracted myself by thinking what a great story this would make: “What men say during their vasectomy.” Maybe Reader’s Digest would buy that. Snipping. Tugging. A trickle of hot liquid escaping down my perineum. Is that…

A study in the American Journal of Cardiology has concluded that transcendental meditation extends life. Meditating is really powerful, very difficult, and amazing — when it works. You have to spend a lot of time fighting internal dialogue to get to the good parts, though. And perception of meditation practice is all wrapped up in Beatles, pot and squishy religious blather. It doesn’t help that the Ottawa Citizen reports today that meditating can help you “levitate.” When it works, it Feels like that, but you don’t leave the ground. Sorry. Good meditation has nothing to do with religion. Meditate on that for a while. I’d like to see a study…

Want to spend a week in PEI this summer? Consider renting Walden. I know, shameless promotion … There are a few weeks left in this year’s rental season.

SUVs are everywhere. But with gas prices soaring, and traffic often at a stand still, sometimes I just want to yell: “How many horses does it take to haul your fat ass to work?” The answer is One. My friend Juergen retrofits bikes with one-horsepower electric hub motors. Silent and powerful, with a range of 20km at up to 32km/h, the hub motor transforms an old bike into a commuter’s dream. When I told Suzy about this, she said, “Just pedal!” But I had visions of hundreds of kilometres of recreational trails opening up before me, and no sore thighs. For anyone who dreads humid morning pedalling, the ride to…

Sami Mohamad Mohamad hates cold. He doesn’t take ice in his Coke, and even ice cream doesn’t appeal to him. Yet today, Mohamad warmly embraced citizenship in cold’s Capital. It was 15C and he still wore a toque. He’s all set. We met Mohamad on a train. The Canadian cheering crew. Mohamad and Fouad with Judge Pinel (and Simon) All wrapped up about Canada.

I’m giving up Tim’s. The coffee anyway. I still like the vanilla donuts with the multicoloured sprinkles, and how the ones that fall off leave a little stain when I lick and dab my fingers to gather them all up.

We have “widow” and “orphan,” but there is no word to describe someone who has lost a child. I think it’s because the experience is unspeakable. Today we mark Jasper’s fifth birthday, and the death of his twin brother Angus. It’s really tough to celebrate and mourn at the same time. Try finding a card for that at the Hallmark store. I should probably write it. Ottawa is a good place to have a 1 ½ lb baby. The staff at the neonatal intensive care unit at the Ottawa Hospital (General Campus) was superb. Janet Brintnell is in charge of NICU nurses. She and her incredible team care for the…

Rob’s a middle aged network specialist. His salt and pepper crew cut reminded me of Colonel Sanders. We met at the 82 stop on Featherston, and had lots of time to chat because we’d missed our bus — there’s a new schedule. I was scanning the headlines on the Citizen box when he spoke up. “It’s a Virginia morning… moist and clear like the city was washed overnight. I love this weather!” I popped a losenge to relieve my sore throat. I offered him one and told him how a jolly high school teacher used to tell us students to “Suck on a Fisherman’s Friend” when we needed to feel…

“This isn’t news to us.” Susan Desjardins is part of Eco Energy Choices Ottawa, a not-for-profit research group that promotes community-focused energy efficiency in Ottawa. I just talked to her about the City of Ottawa’s refusal to issue permits to home owners who want to install a passive solar water heater on their roof. Passive solar water heaters save energy by preheating water using sunlight. This water is then heated to hot by the traditional water heater. Passive solar systems in optimal south-facing sites can save the homeowner up to 50% on the cost of water heating — hundreds of dollars per year on average. A complete system, including installation,…

Our friend Mohamad Mohamad will become a Canadian this Thursday at a ceremony on Catherine Street. I’ve already warned him that I will probably cry like a baby. Mohamad arrived in Canada from Baghdad via Libya almost 5 years ago. Suzy and I met him on a VIA train. We were en route to Ottawa from Toronto when we noticed with disgust that an overzealous ticket agent was giving a shy Middle-Eastern man a hard time for having too many bags – Mohamad was traveling with three large duffel bags that contained everything he owned.

“Head to toe camo is a must when hunting sharp-eyed gobblers.” There’s an aggressive wild turkey loose near Wakefield, just north of Ottawa. I was just about to lose my cool on a writing consultant who was late for a meeting this morning. But when he called to say he was trapped in his house by aggressive foul, I forgave him. I asked if he had a shotgun at home, to which he replied, “I don’t think we even have sharp knives.” O Canada! Quebec has come a long way from FLQ. Upon further investigation, I’ve learned that the wild turkey problem in Wakefield is a result of human intervention.…

Had a great chat with a Buddhist monk last week. On an impulse, I visited Ottawa’s Hilda Jayalan temple on Heron Road, not far from my Alta Vista neighbourhood. The building is modest, just a brick bungalow. But last week it was festooned with colourful striped flags and white lights, and was buzzing with people. I went in, just as the funeral was getting started. Oops. They made me sit at the front — two hours cross-legged on a thin cushion on the floor. I realized about half-way through just how far from enlightenment I am, all unstretched and achy. I need to do more sun salutations or at least…

After visiting jail last week, I’m have to write brochure copy about it. We have some great pictures to work with, and hours of good quotes caught on CD. I have an idea for how the images and text will work together. But I don’t think the client will like it. Picture the first panel. A rough-looking muscular guy with a shaved head stands next to some welding equipment, his tattooed arms crossed. Superimposed over the image: “No toaster.” The next panel is similar, perhaps with a guy next to a sheet metal cutter: “No razor blade.” Inside, somehow, the connection is made: “I’m not disposable.” I wanted to say,…