It flew in from America on a sunny Ottawa morning. And the biggest disappointment was how small it was, smaller than I remember previous ones being, when I was a kid. And less flexible. Canadians used to enjoy shaping it, but today I just want to squish it and throw it against the wall to see if it bounces. Yes, Silly Putty. Thank God for Silly Putty! My colleague Amanda brought me some from Time Square, just in time to help me cope with the arrival of the Butcher of Baghdad. That other, even less flexible American import.

A study published today gives pause to parishoners. Going to church can kill you. A Dutch study of air quality in churches concluded that the air had more cancer-causing pollutants than air beside a major highway travelled daily by 45,000 vehicles. So that just proves that living in Toronto or going to church both bring you closer to God. President Bush is coming to town next week. Major protests are planned. Funny, I can’t get a certain Bruce Cockburn song out of my head. I found out today that this blog site you are reading is worth $1,366.66 US on Blogshares, which isn’t a lot. That’s 0.000027% market share.

It’s already too late to be early. The Jane Siberry CD (Child) is on shuffle again. How much orgasmic moaning can one person take? Apparently, about 35 days. Suzy informed me tonight that she’s moved up our tree decorating day to Dec 11 from Dec 18. She scratched my note off the family calendar and put a big red arrow to the week prior. My wife says the tree “has to be up more than a week!” OK, as long as it’s not five. Let’s just say, I’m not in The Mood, yet. But it’s building. It starts with frozen toes on November 11, followed by lingering sentiment. As I…

Suzanne quit yesterday. She’s been cleaning our house once a week for 6 months. A good friend gave me some great advice a few years ago: Hiring domestic help is a super investment. And it is, especially with two kids in the house. I’m proud to say I haven’t cleaned a toilet in ages, and I don’t plan to — at 36, this is a gift I give to myself for making it this far. And getting a housekeeper is good discipline. It means we have to tidy up once a week so she can really clean. Suzanne says she’s burned out, but she also says she’s still going to…

Running rocks. I’m not very good at it, but it transforms me. After just a km or two, I feel like a swimmer bursting to the surface after a deep dive – the air is so rich, life so exhilarating. Suddenly my world expands to the horizon in all directions, and anything’s possible. Try running. Running is like meditation, in a way. It’s alone time, where you become acutely aware of all the noise in your head. And both are also physical things – yes! – because when meditating or running, you really get to see how thoughts affect how you physically feel. Positive thinking gets you an extra mile.…

Now they want us to know. See pics and notes from Americans, saying “Sorry, Everybody” for electing Shrub.

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.”Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,” Ashcroft said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’and ‘y’ and…

Well, it’s a sunny day I feel brand new There are so many things that I could do Whoa-wo Would you like to Do them to? Well it’s a big wide world And it’s waiting for me and you! (Click to hear/see the tune, from Jasper’s newest favourite TVO kids show, and get it stuck in your head too). It’s All-right. Kinda catchy.

The Fall is a good time for sensual pursuits. Sensual is a good word. It’s all good: Musty wet fallen leaves, deep breath, frost nip. I don’t mind the early dark as long as I have fire. Today a chimney sweep arrived with his Victorian broom and allowed me to go back to hardwood fires — those Loblaws logs just don’t cut it, or crackle. Think of a hit of wood smoke on an evening walk at dusk in the hour before curtains are drawn. Dinners on display. Voyeurism that’s OK. Then there’s lusty Merlot in a rubinesque glass, coating and descending – best savoured on the exhale, through the…

My son is as sensitive as I was/am. He still finds going to school hard, and little things upset him — like animals getting cold outside, or a fallen tree. I’m not sure how much of this is nature and how much nurture. Sure, Suzy and I are trying to get him to appreciate life, but we don’t know why he is still upset about leaving us in the morning when we think we’ve given him every reason to feel secure. Maybe it’s transferred to him in other ways — because I still have a deep apprehension, not about going to work or school, or even of who I am…

I’ve given up coffee — dumped half a large Second Cup Huehuetenago down the drain this morning in disgust while reading about Bush winning the election. Sour taste in my mouth. I figure giving up bad things is something I can do that’s short of storming the US Embassy with rotten tomatoes. I also stopped caring about walking on cracks today. Mom’s had a bad back for years; it’s not my fault. At the World Exchange Plaza food court today, I noticed that the yellow maple leaves of a tree on the other side of the plate glass window were waving furiously at me. Notice us! Pay attention!! It was…

I’ve never felt this tense about a US election before. Suzy is in the next room watching results, and I’m avoiding what I expect will be a Bush victory. But oh how sweet it would be to get rid of Bush! Over lunch today, a client said that while she didn’t like the president, she could understand how some people could support him for his clarity, for his willingness to hit back at the terrorists. I replied that I just had a real problem with an idiot being in charge of the free world. Did you know that you can now take out your frustration on a virtual pet? It’s…

I’ve decided to write here every day this week. I’m not going to tell anyone about it, though, in case I just don’t. I don’t have many traditional vices, aside from German beer by the half-litre can and a lingering childhood self-doubt, but pledging to write in my site is much like declaring an end to smoking, except backwards. See, if I have to write here daily, this is the kind of crap you’ll get. Maybe I should stop thinking about you. So what’s new? I stole coffee money from my four-year-old son’s Thomas the Tank Engine wallet the other day. The shame, the shame. And I was really concerned…