I’m off to jail tomorrow — to interview lifers who are making furniture as part of a government rehabilitation programme called CORCAN. What to wear? What to wear? The client just called to ask for more background information on me because something strange popped up on my security clearance scan. Apparently, as a visitor you can’t go to prison if you’ve ever broken the law. My guide tomorrow is a charismatic and confident woman named Ellen. I like her a lot; she’s not easily intimidated. At a team meeting yesterday (with the photographer and project manager who are also going), she warned us not to make eye contact, and to…

A client’s comment today on the sponsorship scandal said it all: “So what can we do? It’s not like we have a choice.” Maybe Stephen Harper looks so sour because he’s smart enough to know that his recent surge in popularity has nothing to do with what he says, what he believes, or how hard he works. But he also knows that nothing could unite Canadians better than an election that kicks out a government. Joe Clark first said this. He of all people should know. The depressing thing is that The Rt. Hon. Mr. Clark was referring to something that happened almost 30 years ago. I first met Joe…

I need a web designer to help me fix up this site. Know of anyone? As I write, I’m waiting for a test DVD to burn on this new iBook G4. I like the Mac (have been a PC guy since Window’s debuted in ’91), but I won’t believe all the hype about simple video capture and DVD burning until I see it. This weekend was brilliant. Sunny. Simon and I slept in a park; he had a stroller, me a park bench. I have a sun tan on one side of my face. Kind of like Terry Fox. His was sunburned on the left side because he was always…

It’s Buddha Day. Millions are celebrating the birth and enlightenment of the chubby guy with the half smile. Why is he so smug? What does he know that we don’t? A basic pillar of Buddhism is an awareness of impermanence. Wha? Nothing lasts. You are going to die, and everything you care about is going to disappear. How can this lead to happiness? How can I enjoy my iPod if I know it will be obsolete in a year!? Enjoy the moment. Dig the tunes while you can. “Enlightenment” means freedom from the two things that cause human misery: craving and fear. As the story goes, the Buddha sat under…

Last night I covered the front of a huge 747 with an image of the top of Jean Charest’s head. All you could see were his curly locks, forehead and eyes, cut off just at the bridge of his nose. It was part of a dream where the client was a new Canadian airline. We had decided to generate media by asking questions on the plane. Charest’s image was accompanied by “Still Canadian?”

My MP called me at home last week. I won’t mention his name, but he is the premier’s brother. “Stuart, you don’t understand how long it takes to set up an MP’s office. It took three months to get it painted … I haven’t had a single day off in nine months.” The call was a response to an e-mail I’d sent him in February. It was a blistering letter of complaint about not being able to reach the high-profile backbench MP. A meeting had been set at his office for December 4 (yes, last year) but it was cancelled at the last minute and I’d been unable to reach…

A litany of woe kept me from writing today. Litany is a great word. But I shouldn’t really complain. As bad as my day was, I’m not dead. Poor Pope. I regret what I said about the Vatican not being open with info about the his death. Do we really need to see close-ups of his ashen corpse on the cover of the morning papers?? One day in the early ’80s, back when John Paul was comprehensible, I found a book of B.C. comics on the floor of my stepfather’s apartment. I remember wondering what was so funny about the page that showed two cavemen talking. One of them asked,…

It’s difficult to avoid making a comment about the dying Pope. His death is such a spectacle, it’s even harder to avoid hearing about it. This morning, the Vatican claims Pope John Paul II is “lucid and aware…receiving visitors” even though the statement also notes that he has suffered cardio-pulmonary collapse and is having trouble breathing. Is it possible that the Vatican spin bishops don’t want the world to watch the pope die unaware, much like Terry Shiavo did just yesterday? And why must we be led to believe that John Paul is serene. Would they really tell us if he were writhing and gasping in his last hours —…