Tomorrow morning I find out if what I’ve worked for for nearly a year will start. And the nice thing is, I’m not going to lose sleep over this. I’m OK either way. I’ve done my best.

I quit my job today. Full circle. One of my first jobs in Ottawa as a wee lad of 19 was at a lighting store at the corner of Bank and Catherine. It’s now a Korean grocery store. Despite the fact that I was a dirt poor student, I quit after just one day. In fact, I just didn’t show up on day two, or even go back to collect my one day’s pay ($5/hour). I was too ashamed to tell my boss why I had to leave: I just couldn’t imagine how I could ever stand working with light bulbs all day. Now I’m going to be Executive Director…

Easter. I tossed the choco bunny that was left on my desk at work. Everybody got one, and some foil-wrapped eggs that look like little bunny turds when unwrapped. Yum. The chocobunny was one of those sold in piles at Zellers, with yellow fish-like candy eyes that stare through the transparent bag and cry out, “For God’s sake, don’t eat me!” And upon close inspection, it turned out that my treat was a “chocolatey bunny.” Easter and real chocolate were both missing. Does anyone know what tallow is? Why is it in easter bunnies? Trash! I did end up eating a lot of this crap this weekend, following kids like…

What’s Swiss about Swiss Chalet? The neutral mountainous country that’s the birthplace of the quarter chicken dinner? Why do people like Pamela Anderson? “It’s kind of hypocritical that you’re all for animal rights when you’ve been torturing your own beaver for years.” Courtney Love? Anyone still got a Christmas tree? Dan does. Is it OK for a guy to drive a bike with white-wall tires?

It occurred to me this morning on the bus that politicians all have the same hairdo because they’re all about the same age. You know the ‘do, slightly staticky and parted at the side. Lots of combing. Products don’t work. I’ve been complaining a lot lately about getting old. One of my biggest beefs is losing control of my hair. “It’s changed,” I said to Suzy, “Something’s going wrong.” “You’re almost forty, Stuart,” she replied. “It’s Normal.” So I look like Joe Schmo Liberal going for the hard centre-left vote. Bye-bye “Dare to be Defiant” hair wax. I guess it was just inevitable. Here’s a fun link sent by Mme.…

Grey hair is more coarse than brown. Not quite pubic. Just assertive enough to ruin that youthful windblown look I’ve always wanted. I turned 38 on Sunday. It was fine. Life has been amazing lately, but very stressful. And it’s all self-imposed, which is a stupid thing to do at this age. I took today and yesterday off to celebrate and found myself giddy and excitable at the Wild Oat reading about a new drug that can reverse heart disease. It could have been the double latte. Then I walked through the Glebe Emporium and got strange looks fondling a banana protector (I didn’t know what it was, or how…

Ok, so finally I can see my own blog again. Waldencabin.com stopped letting me publish on October 11, 2005, then the site disappeared, and when I finally moved it, I couldn’t see it (though apparently others could). So tonight I can. I really miss writing. My life is light bulbs lately. Tomorrow I get the final price on 350,000 of them so every household in Ottawa can have one. Thanks for reading. I’m rusty, and tired. Not so bright tonight. C’mon back! I’ll try to post daily now, even if it’s this kind of crap. And if you’re here because you’ve been waiting for something new for 5 months, that…

Jasper begged to go to bed at about 11:30, so we welcomed ’06 from our hotel room, overlooking our city. He was asleep by 11:45.

My wife who hates to be referred to like that says I’ve gone negative even before Harper. And I have no secret agenda. But I do have a new notebook. A “Moleskin” palm-sized hardcover book with a faux-leather cover and elastic. Blank pages. I chose this over a similar one with lines as an act of defiance. “Don’t fence me in!” I bought the over-priced scribbler to capture content for this new site, to kickstart writing again. See, I’m grouchy when I don’t write. And it’s been 3 months. Keep your distance. Day One. Observations: Christmas stuff is 50% off everywhere, but I just can’t bring myself to buy. I…

Now this is ridiculous. I can’t post. My legions of fans are clamouring. Aren’t you? Well?

Testing, again. I’ve been off-line for a month. My Blog is back. It’s been off-line for weeks because of a screwup with the DNS pointers. If you don’t know what that means, Count Your Lucky Stars. Get yourself to onechange.org. After months and months of thankless work, our little team of talented and dedicated volunteers is about to give nearly a million dollars in Hydro savings back to my neighbourhood (Ottawa South). We start to deliver up to 50,000 free compact fluorescent light bulbs this weekend. Project Porchlight, baby. It’s Change Within Reach. It’s SO GOOD TO BE BACK. I’ve been giving media interviews all week and I need a…

Elizabeth told me today that she is having nightmares about life-sized compact fluorescent light bulbs running around willy-nilly bonking into each other, suing us. Matters of event insurance and energy efficiency collide in the subconscious mind. (She’s President of the Porchlight Board). Meanwhile, I can’t touch my chin to my chest because of a pain in my upper back. I think it was caused by a fit of coughing the other day, but Jackie at work (fresh back from a honeymoon in St. Lucia) just smiled and said, “You didn’t hurt yourself, Stuart. You’re just in knots.” She pushed me against the wall and dug her thumb into a muscle…

I’m waiting for my light bulbs to arrive today. One hundred of them, boxed in beautiful Porchlight packaging. This is the first teaser shipment of the 49,900 that will follow. Project Porchlight is lurching ahead toward its October 29 launch. There’ll be a Giant Tiger, a ton of coal, a brass band, and (hopefully) lots of people who know that anyone can make a change. Our new Web site will be launched next week. Meanwhile, check out www.onechange.org. It’s still just sinking in how an idea became a movement that has attracted so many great people, and so much support. It scares the heck out of me. And that’s being…

It hit me like a hammer last night. I spend most of my time surrounded by women. I just wish it was because they find me irresistible. It’s not like that. Yesterday was the first of my 12-week carpentry course at Algonquin College. The course represents a notable break in my usual routine. Which is why I found it troubling that my biggest concern last night was what to wear. My casual brown leather slip-ons did make me feel a bit self-conscious in a room of steel toes. There were lots of tight t-shirts, faded jeans and farm caps with curled brims. I was the only one taking notes, mostly…

I’m feeling a bit more settled this week. More than I have in months, in fact. Last week’s visits to prisons in western Canada may have had something to do with it. I’m also reading a sappy little meditation book by Thich Nhat Hahn. It’s borderline “Chicken Soup for the Buddhist Consumer,” but the message is solid. The foundation is impermanance. The past doesn’t exist, nor does the future. Life is only this second. For me, my life is writing this blog. For you, it’s reading it. Thanks! Likewise, we aren’t born and we don’t die, much like waves on the sea. They’re all just water, changing. I like the…