I fixed my sister-in-law’s clogged plumbing today (sink and toilet), with the help of her 10-year-old son Rowan. We took the drains apart under the sink, back to the wall, and cleared sludgy black plugs out of the curves with a rooter wire that resembled a tape worm. The contractor who put those pipes in was lazy — no quick-release in the trap, and a botched patch to the main line to the drain. The whole operation was stinky, disgusting and very satisfying. I’d forgotten how great it can feel to get dirty. Since Jasper and Simon have come along, I spend a lot less time in rubber boots or…

In Alberta, they call their premier King. He rules over a rich land (even if bookstores are scarce). There’s no provincial sales tax, billions of dollars are being invested in hospitals and infrastructure, and new rules govern chuck wagon racing. It’s all good. The money is literally being pumped from the ground. This week, King Ralph announced a “prosperity bonus” for all 3,184,000 citizens. Everybody’s getting a cheque for $400 bucks. Yee haw! That’s $1.3 billion bucks. The reaction, not surprisingly, has been positive. But that doesn’t mean the prosperity bonus is a good idea. Consider this: Ralph Klein wins elections bashing the federal government. His gift to Albertans is…

I’m sitting in Calgary airport watching CNN on mute in Montana’s Saloon. My quarter chicken (white meat) meal is picked to the bone and two pints of Rickards gone. Every couple of minutes the same images flash on the screen: An airbus lands gingerly on its hind wheels and its front wheel bursts into flames. My flight to Toronto leaves in about 45 minutes. People all around avert their gaze. Nobody seems overly upset by the saturation coverage in an airport of an airbus averting disaster. Larry King seemed to enjoy covering the airline incident. With a guest on the line, he noted that “JetBlue has satellite TV. They get…

Don’t stay at the Day’s Inn. It was booked on my behalf, sight unseen. The $69/night rate should have been a red flag. Fred, the photographer I’m travelling with, rolled a towel at the base of his door to keep out mice. A sign in the elevator: Maximum 7 people (or 2000 lbs) Do not overload. The elevator will get stuck if it’s overloaded. PLEASE DON’T OVERLOAD! Candy and chips available at Reception. Good luck finding something to read. The National Post is everywhere, which says nothing about the literacy rate. There are more RV and CAT dealers than Tim Horton’s locations. I interviewed a half-dozen Aboriginal welder inmates today.…

Vancouver > Mission Calgary > Drumheller Edmonton. Slammer Tour ’05 rolls on. I’ve met so many killers and bank robbers, I can’t remember them all. All on the shop floors of CORCAN work rehabilitation facilities. Aside from the products these convicted federal inmates produce (such as refurbished DND trucks, mattresses, security bars (ironically) for sale at Home Depot) the remarkable thing is, many are eager to talk. And the theme that has emerged is simple. “Most of us are getting out.” Andre is serving 25-to-life for killing someone in a drunken bar brawl 13 years ago. “We need something to do when we walk out of here, so we don’t…

I can hardly type tonight. The strep is gone, though I’m still on antibiotics. What’s getting to me is being so busy. Today I sent the final artwork for the Porchlight bulb box to press, confirmed almost $150,000 of new writing business at work, and ordered 30,000 light bulbs. 20,000 more are being ordered next month. And last week the government of PEI’s climate change hub said they want to get a free bulb to every house in PEI next spring. Amazing! Someone said to me this week that I will be able to sell greenhouse gas credits to China. I think I’ll swap them for surround sound. Check out…

I felt just “Off” last week. By Friday I had a tickle in the back of my throat. Several people at work said, “You look sick.” They were all over 35, so I don’t think they meant “awesome.” By Saturday morning, swallowing felt like a flaming golf ball was stuck in my throat. Sorry folks at work: Saturday morning the doctor at the walk-in clinic took the little light, peered deep while I said awe and, recoiled on her armless three-legged stool. “Ten day course of antibiotics.” Somethin’ nasty’s got me. Two days later, my right ear is now plugged and humming, and I have an odd inflamed in-grown hair…

A friend called me the other day at work to inquire about my sanity. Which was nice. He said he was worried after reading this blog. Funny how we relate these days. He took me out to lunch. I had a Mick chicken burger at the Mayflower, the day after the Stones were in town. The meat came heavily breaded, deep fried and, with the melted Monterey Jack, looked more like a Keith Richards close-up than the mug of the big-lipped guy. The side salad was limp. What does this mean? It turned out the friend had troubles of his own. As he was sharing, he started to weep, so…

The bus was empty when I got on this morning, already deep into a “first fiction” piece in the New Yorker about two kids snorkeling in a boat graveyard for their dead sister. At the next stop, a pair of shiny slip-on loafers broke the story’s spell. They were attached to a middle-aged man in a golf shirt asking me to take my laptop off the seat next to me so he could sit down. He plunked down next to me, and I surprised myself by jumping up to move to another of the forty-odd vacant seats that remained. Why did he have to sit next to me? A compulsive…

Suzy took the kids to her sister’s place this morning. So I’m sitting under an umbrella with my laptop, surfing on someone else’s unsecured wireless network. Wahoo! 21st-Century Risk. My hard drive is exposed to the world and I don’t care. Turning Japanese is playing. It’s the only song I have downloaded on this computer, sent to me by e-mail one afternoon at work to turn my already distracted mind to mush. I brought the laptop out here so I could listen to music on CD, but the drive keeps spitting out the “Canadian Songs Vol 2” that Elizabeth burned for me. A few minutes before that I started to…

Thanks for dropping by the cabin, and especially for all the great e-mails this week! Given the response to family revelations (below), I’m thinking of selling the movie rights. 🙂 I’m taking a week off, but please come back. It’s been an intense summer — a very good one. Project Porchlight is moving ahead. Work is busy and interesting. Simon’s about to walk. Suzy has just checked “All Families are Psychotic,” (how appropriate) by Douglas Coupland, from the library. I’m looking forward to a week of reading and R&R before an inevitably hectic autumn arrives. When I get tense, my breathing gets shallow and I look pinched and old. This…

I’m walking wounded today. Last night I was told that my dad’s wife, Joan, has ”nothing left” to give me as a token of my father. Dad died four years ago, and I finally screwed up my courage this week to ask my Aunt Mary to raise this issue with Joan. Mary got back to me within a day with the bad news, and added rather matter-of-factly, “You should have asked for something earlier.” Funny, I didn’t think I had to ask for a memento of my dad. She didn’t see it that way. So I called Joan directly (from work). She has call display, so I was surprised she…

First the cabin was robbed. Then the web site went down. The kind people who host the site for me for free are actually staying in the cabin right now, battling hornets under the step. I understand that there is a lot of fogging and foaming going on, and hundreds of hornets wobbling in agony all over the place. A battlefield! Henry David Thoreau probably would have whacked the next with a stiff broom — or left it alone. Who knows? Today’s sunny and not too hot. Nice. I decided to take the bus this morning so I could finish Douglas Coupland’s Hey! Nostradamus. A great book, but fairly bleak.…

Confirm $200,000 support for Porchlight campaign. Find volunteers to distribute 50,000 light bulbs door-to-door in Ottawa. Figure out where to get a microphone for the Premier’s speech. Take a deep breath. I’m looking for a project manager/events planner genius. If you know someone who is available for the next 3 months, please let me know!

We got the money (see below) Our project will mean 100,000 half-ton truckloads of coal will not be burned. Now that’s cool. Wanna volunteer? Please!