I’m riding on a half-inflated tire. For a week now. It’s getting to the point where I can almost feel the rim. When I go over a bump, my saddle bag pops off. One of these days I should invest in bungie cords. For now, my laptop remains unhurt. For the past month, the left hem of two pairs of my pants have been held together inside with duct tape. A few years ago, someone told me that “everyone leaks.” No matter how much we try to appear well put together or in control, there are little signs that betray us. But most “leaking” occurs when we’re under pressure. Think…

The night was oppressive. We turned out the lights to minimize the additional heat from the incandescents. That’s how bad it was. We clicked on our LED camp light and broke open a deck of cards and settled in for a friendly game. Even the honey brown was sweating. I sucked at Snap. My sister used to beat me at that when we were kids. It’s just so unnerving and violent. So Suzy suggested Crazy 8s, and added a naked challenge to make it more adult. I’d learned from Grammie Phoebe but she’d never taken it to this level. Lose a hand, lose some clothes. With the kids in bed…

Lake week went quickly. We didn’t go far; the cottage was 90 minutes from Ottawa on White Lake near Calabogie. In seven days we left the cottage only once for a quick visit the “the Frew” (Renfrew) to get a Globe, pick up some ice cream, and pump up our tire. For sale: 1992 Corolla. The weather was incredible – clear and hot. We cooled off by jumping off the dock. I’m now a master of the floating noodle, and Jasper and I developed a subtle yet effective sign language for “you have a horse fly on your head.” You need this when you’re floating on your back, still, ears…

I was thinking today of the past tense of jump. “Jamp” came to mind. This is just one sign that I need to leap off a dock. This week, a client melted down in an air conditioned board room. It had nothing to do with the humidex warning, more a result of the pressure of a busy summer that looks like it will never slow down. And by the end of July people need a bit of a break to avoid a breakdown. Someone said to me yesterday that May and June were slow because of the expected federal election, and now we’re making up for it. Now that’s just…

Make that, “Your twisting reality.” Sorry, honey, I suck at quoting sources.

Go ahead. Ask me about my fantasies. One involves a bottle of Crisco and a shower curtain liner. Suzy says, “Do you know what that stuff is? Lard!” Story-in-one-sentence: The first day of my first job as a pack boy at 14 at my community grocery/hardware store in rural PEI (cash register with the pull handle, gossiper meat man, etc.) I accidentally dropped a 24 case of glass Crisco bottles down the basement stairs and was sure I’d be fired; the floor’s still stained there.

Suzy says she’s never heard of a vole. “It’s just another example of your twisted sense of reality.”

I read in bed last night that Fish don’t sleep. Night time is just the shadow of the Earth. Cool even at 25C in the shade. Today’s high in PEI was 12C. Colder at Plover Dunes. A bug went into my right eye last week on my bike ride home. That was just before my derailleur wheel broke off and fell down a sewer drain. I think it laid eggs or something, because I can still feel it. Maybe I’ll get a patch. Now that would be cool. Jasper is really concerned about the dehydrated and dismembered wasp body that’s tucked in the crease of the back window in the…

I noticed we had a new driver this morning. No big deal. He said hi and smiled. Minutes later, though, we suddenly pulled off to the side of the Transitway. Our driver was clearly agitated. I heard, “I just can’t do this!” from the front. I set my paper down and scanned the aisles. The bus was full. Another driver pulled up alongside. “What’s wrong?” “I just can’t do this!” he said again. Then the doors opened and everyone ran out onto the side of the road. I was one of the last ones off. Most of the passengers had crammed onto the other bus by the time our new…

I just watched the National, and I’m pissed off. I’d write to them, but I know they don’t care. Tonight, Peter Mansbridge et al. gave “the terrorists” exactly what they want: Hype, baseless speculation, fear mongering. Who are the “terrorists”? The tragedy in London should not be diminished. It’s big news. But running a full newscast that includes segments such as “Are we next?” is just plain lazy, and sensationalist. It makes people afraid. Isn’t that the definition of terrorism? Tonight, linking today’s events to Al Quaeda is just speculation. But that doesn’t seem to matter. The CBC even cancelled a scheduled 10PM airing of The Greatest Canadian — Profile…

I’m a creature of habit and pattern. Only this week, with my kids and wife away, have I noticed this. This morning I overslept, again. And as I raced into the kitchen to wolf down a bowl of yogurt and bran, I noticed three bowls with spoons lined up on the counter, each with a little yogurt and bran dried on the bottom. I slapped the Globe down to skim page one, on top of three days of old news. On the rushed bike ride to work I decided to break the pattern and try a different route. First came the dead end road, then my chain broke. By the…

Elizabeth and Emma are at Walden tonight. They called me from my couch. They’d only been in the place for an hour and they’d already found everything, like the Music for Small Rooms CD, the little pop-up snake toy in the kitchen, the concrete Buddha reclining in the roots of an old maple below the bridge by the spring. It’s wonderful to share such a personal space with friends — especially when they are so obviously pleased. (Aaron, I know you’re reading this). That little piece of land in PEI is tightly woven with stories. Every tree has a history, the spring that bubbles up from the ground at the…

My family is at a cottage this week. Last night was the first in 8 years that I have been alone overnight in my own home. It was wierd. Weird? How do you spell that? I fell asleep on the couch watching The Aviator, and woke up at 12:30 a.m. — drool on my shoulder and contact lenses freeze dried to my eyes — wondering why nobody reminded me to go to bed. You take couple stuff for granted. Thankfully, Dracula spared me a repeat visit, although I woke up a couple of times with the cat on my head. Puddy is lonely too. Work was fine, and I avoided…